Connect with us

Comedy

Breaking: Wenger’s Sanity Brought Into Serious Question

It has been reported tonight that Arsenal Manager Arsene Wenger is in the process of being committed to Nightingale Hospital in London under the mental health act 1983. Arsenal Chief Executive Ivan Gazidis had recently confirmed that Wenger had been taking part in psychiatric evaluations from specialist Dr Lars Van Der Stappen over the last few weeks and his condition seems to have deteriorated.

Arsenal board members first started to notice his condition earlier this season when Wenger made Mikel Arteta club Captain when the sane choice would have been Per Mertesacker who is a born leader, this was followed by a bizarre decision to play £42 Million man Mesut Ozil as a left winger, many thought it was just pure experimentation and nothing more, unfortunately some fans suspicions became a reality this afternoon when it was announced that Olivier Giroud and Mikel Arteta had both been offered new deals. Olivier Giroud is currently injured and one might say you would have to be crazy to offer a player with a serious injury a lengthy deal and with Arteta’s increasingly dire performances, board members felt they needed to act to save the club from anymore misguided decisions.

One player that has felt the full force of Wenger’s condition was new signing Alexis Sanchez who was dropped for the North London derby last Saturday after he refused to just play in his pants, Wenger’s “logic” was that Sanchez could move faster with the ball and be more of a threat with as little clothing on as possible.

There have been other instances when many could have called Wenger’s mental state into question, only just last season when everyone was calling for Wenger to sign a striker he was adamant that he could rely on Olivier Giroud and we all know how that ended up, another end of season disappointment in the Premier League where it all just tailed off like many seasons before. Wenger has persisted with Giroud and encouraged the French Striker to score with as many women as possible as to improve his aim in front of goal fro the big occasion.

It is still not clear just how much psychiatric treatment Wenger will require to bring back the two time double winning manager to a sane mental state, “I can reassure the fans that Arsene is getting the best treatment money can buy and we are confident of his recovery” said Gazidis speaking earlier to SkySports News.

More in Comedy